Prescription-Strength Humor, Bottled

Bills Bills Bills and Mentally Moisturized candy gifts with cute sayings for adulting triage by Take Two & Text Me Bills Bills Bills and Mentally Moisturized candy gifts with cute sayings for adulting triage by Take Two & Text Me

🚨 Adulting Triage™

Coping mechanisms for bills, burnout, low battery, and basic responsibilities

Rx for:

Responsibility Dread

Common Symptoms:

Budget panic

Notification avoidance

Caffeine logic

Social battery collapse

Pretending everything is fine

#NotaRealMD Note:

Take two and function under protest

8 products
8 products
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Bills. Bills. Bills.

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
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Do Not Disturb Mode

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
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Regular price

Espresso Yourself

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
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I Can't Afford This

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
Sale price
Regular price

Just Paid, Still Broke

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
Sale price
Regular price

Lost Social Battery

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
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Regular price

Mentally Moisturized

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
Sale price
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WiFi Went Out

Regular price $23.95
$23.95
Sale price
Regular price

Mentally Moisturized funny mental health gifts prescription bottle with candy and cute sayings by Take Two & Text Me Bills Bills Bills funny adulting gift prescription bottle for life crisis survival kit by Take Two & Text Me Do Not Disturb Mode survival kit gift prescription bottle for funny mental health relief by Take Two & Text Me I Can't Afford This adulting is hard gift prescription bottle with candy for financial stress relief by Take Two & Text Me WiFi Went Out life crisis gift prescription bottle funny adulting triage survival kit by Take Two & Text Me

Symptoms may include...

Opening the mail like it might ruin your personality.

Becoming unavailable as a lifestyle choice.

Adding to cart with no financial clearance.

Losing WiFi and suddenly having to be alone with your thoughts.

Mentally Moisturized funny mental health gifts prescription bottle with candy and cute sayings by Take Two & Text Me

Symptoms may include...

Bills Bills Bills funny adulting gift prescription bottle for life crisis survival kit by Take Two & Text Me

Opening the mail like it might ruin your personality.

Do Not Disturb Mode survival kit gift prescription bottle for funny mental health relief by Take Two & Text Me

Becoming unavailable as a lifestyle choice.

I Can't Afford This adulting is hard gift prescription bottle with candy for financial stress relief by Take Two & Text Me

Adding to cart with no financial clearance.

WiFi Went Out life crisis gift prescription bottle funny adulting triage survival kit by Take Two & Text Me

Losing WiFi and suddenly having to be alone with your thoughts.

  • Take Two & Text Me prescription icon
    Prescription-Inspired

    Parody labels made for real-life symptoms

  • Take Two & Text Me heart icon
    Sweet Dose Included

    Curated candy options selected to match each prescription

  • Take Two & Text Me gift box icon
    Gift-Ready

    Easy to send, gift, keep, or hand over dramatically

  • Take Two & Text Me not medicine icon
    Duh, Not Real Medicine

    Only fun, packaged support for emotional side effects