No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.
Can I return my script?
Because our products contain edible items, we cannot accept returns once an order has been fulfilled and shipped. All sales are final.
If your order arrives damaged, please send a clear photo to our Chaos Support Team so we can review the issue and determine whether a replacement or store credit is appropriate.
My package says delivered, but it’s missing.
If your package is marked delivered but has gone rogue, check around your property, with household members, and with nearby neighbors first. If it still hasn’t surfaced, contact the shipping carrier directly.
You can also send a distress signal through our contact form, and our Chaos Support Team will help investigate the shipping mystery.
What makes this Take Two & Text Me™ a gift?
Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.
Can I choose the candy dose?
Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options curated to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.
Can I send this directly to someone?
Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.
If your questions are answered...
Return to the Med Cabinet and browse the scripts made for life’s chaotic symptoms.
