Funny gifts for chronically online friends.

  • Crush Control
  • Crush Control
📱 Viral Symptom Rx™

Crush Control

$23.95
$23.95
Script Discount Doses Depleted

SELECT YOUR ACTIVE INGREDIENT

Current Current Dose: Butterfly Buffer (Rainbow Hearts)
Current Dose:

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Script Information

Crush Control™ is for when a harmless crush turns into a full-time fantasy loop and sleep becomes optional.

Made for rewatching their story like it is a rom-com trailer, decoding every like, imagining a future after three DMs, and spiraling over someone you barely know.

Prescribed By: Dr. Snap Out of It
Patient: Butterfly Brain
Dosage: Take before rewatching their story like it’s a rom-com trailer.
Refills: After each spiral
Expires: When logic returns
Directions: Mute the fantasy. Ground in facts. Remember, you barely know them.

A funny gift for friends who turn one story view into a theory, one like into a sign, and one harmless crush into an entire imaginary relationship.

Fantasy loop ahead. Sometimes leads to romantic realism, grounded thoughts, and fewer spirals.

Net Weight: 4.5 oz candy fill.
Crush Control
Crush Control
$23.95
$23.95
Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons. Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons.

Viral Rx Gift Formula

Symptoms:

Delulu logic

Text regret

Social spirals

Intended For:

Besties

Overthinkers

Screenshot analysts

Use When:

They need a laugh

A nudge

A side of shade

Temporary Relief:

Turns digital chaos into something worth laughing about

Made for laughs and screenshot-worthy spirals

Positive Reported Side Effects

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Too Accurate Not to Send

“Bought it for my best friend because the label said what I was already thinking.”

- Maddie R., verified customer

Instantly Recognized

“She opened it, laughed, and said it was way too accurate.”

— Lauren K., verified customer

Had to Show Everyone

“Funny, specific, and the kind of gift she immediately had to show everybody.”

— Brianna S., verified customer

Group Chat Approved

“Everyone wanted to know where it came from before she even finished reading the label.”

— Taylor B., verified customer

Viral Outbreaks

Crush Control Crush Control

Crush Control

$23.95
$23.95
Cuffing Season Cuffing Season

Cuffing Season

$23.95
$23.95
Delulu Dose Delulu Dose

Delulu Dose

$23.95
$23.95
Do Not Disturb Do Not Disturb

Do Not Disturb

$23.95
$23.95

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Not-A-Pharmacy Questions

Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.” Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.”

No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.

Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.

Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options suggested to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.

Best friends, overthinkers, breakup survivors, ghosted people, situationship historians, and anyone whose group chat has seen too much.

Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.

Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section

About Take Two & Text Me™

Take Two & Text Me™ creates prescription-inspired gifts for the moments, problems, and personality quirks we lovingly refuse to fix.

Viral Symptom Rx™ is our collection for internet-era feelings, dating drama, delulu logic, ghosting recovery, and emotional support gifts that feel almost too accurate.

  • Take Two & Text Me smiley face icon
    Instant Mood Boost

    Humor, Sweet relief, Zero serious energy

  • Take Two & Text Me gift bag icon
    Gift-Ready

    Because laughter is basically the perfect present


  • Take Two & Text Me sparkle icon
    Prescribed for Real Life

    Made for overthinkers, multitaskers, and the chronically overwhelmed

  • Take Two & Text Me pill icon
    Sweet Dose. Big Impact

    A daily reminder that humor helps in life