Hilariously perfect gifts for red flags in disguise.

  • F*ckboi Flush
  • F*ckboi Flush
🚩 Red Flag Rx™

F*ckboi Flush

$23.95
$23.95
Script Discount Doses Depleted

SELECT YOUR ACTIVE INGREDIENT

Current Dose: Bare Minimum Blocker (Smarties Tablets)
Dose:

🇺🇸 Ships to US Addresses Only 🚚

Script Information

F*ckboi Flush™ is for the friend who needs to remember her dignity is cuter than his bare minimum.

Made for weak moments, recycled men, late-night temptation, “he’s changed” delusion, and the urgent need to keep walking.

Prescribed By: Dr. Not Again
Patient: Temporarily Weak
Dosage: Take when the bare minimum starts looking spicy again.
Refills: When he asks for nudes
Expires: Once the dick loses power
Directions: Swallow when you're tempted to fish him out of the toilet. You already flushed. Keep walking.

Perfect for funny gifts for friends, red flag gifts, situationship humor, breakup humor, and friends dangerously close to recycling a bad decision.

Not for repeat offenders. May trigger clarity, spine, and a sudden rise in standards.

Net Weight: 4.5 oz candy fill.
F*ckboi Flush
F*ckboi Flush
$23.95
$23.95
Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons. Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons.

Red Flag Rx Gift Formula

Symptoms:

Selective warning blindness

Weaponized silent treatments

Intended For:

Serial romanticizers

Situationship historians

Fantasy-vs-reality casualties

Use When:

Dating choices, personal boundaries, or patience have officially hit a wall

Temporary Relief:

Turns regrettable tastes, and predictable dating loops into an instant laugh

Made for relationship chaos survivors

Green Flag Salute

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Grounded in Reality

"Finally, a gift line that addresses actual, real-life relationship delusions instead of just generic texting complaints."

— Jessica M., verified customer

Savage Reality Validation

“The rx label parody is executed perfectly. It hits the exact mood of dealing with adult tantrums and dramatic cycles without being depressing.”

— Chloe D., verified customer

The Ultimate Boundary Check

“Perfect for anyone dealing with an exhausting, low-effort partner. It’s hilarious, completely unhinged, and the exact reality check my friend needed.”

— Vanessa T., verified customer

Broke the Fantasy Instantly

“Absolutely brilliant. It directly targets that exact, painful moment where the initial first-date spark completely crashes into reality.”

— Ashley P., verified customer

Red Flag Waving Hello

Against Better Judgment Against Better Judgment

Against Better Judgment

$23.95
$23.95
Backslide Buffer Backslide Buffer

Backslide Buffer

$23.95
$23.95
Casual Intentions Casual Intentions

Casual Intentions

$23.95
$23.95
Cheater Chews Cheater Chews

Cheater Chews

$23.95
$23.95

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Not-A-Pharmacy Questions

Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.” Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.”

No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.

Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.

Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options suggested to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.

Serial romanticizers, situationship survivors, fantasy-vs-reality casualties, unappreciated besties, and anyone who willingly ignores a blatant warning label.

Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.

Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section

About Take Two & Text Me™

Take Two & Text Me™ creates prescription-inspired gifts for the moments, problems, and personality quirks we lovingly refuse to fix.

Red Flag Rx™ is our scripts for toxic relationship loops, questionable dating tastes, low-effort situationships, and hilarious reality checks that feel almost too accurate.

  • Take Two & Text Me smiley face icon
    Instant Mood Boost

    Humor, Sweet relief, Zero serious energy

  • Take Two & Text Me gift bag icon
    Gift-Ready

    Because laughter is basically the perfect present


  • Take Two & Text Me sparkle icon
    Prescribed for Real Life

    Made for overthinkers, multitaskers, and the chronically overwhelmed

  • Take Two & Text Me pill icon
    Sweet Dose. Big Impact

    A daily reminder that humor helps in life