Playful gifts for your person.

Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons. Take Two & Text Me parody prescription gift bottles with colorful candy, white gift bags, and black-and-white striped ribbons.

Love Symptoms Gift Formula

Symptoms:

Severe text infatuation

Acute butterfly recurrence

Inside joke outbreaks

Intended For:

Your favorite weirdo

Soft crushes

Long-term loves

Use When:

An “I miss you” text feels lazy

Just because

To make them smile

Possible Side Effects:

An immediate dose of pure fun and affection

Made for unhinged romance, shared weirdness, and symptoms that feel suspiciously like feelings

Affection Flare-Ups

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Side Effect: Hoodie Hoarding

“Gave them Keep My Hoodie because my actual hoodie permanently lives at their place now. They laughed at the prescription label immediately and kept it right on their nightstand. Absolute success.”

— Hoodieless, verified customer

Side Effect: Sudden Smirking

“Left the You’re Kinda Hot bottle on his desk just because. Catching him smirking at the directions from across the room was worth every penny. Way better than a mushy card.”

— Not a Mushy Card Person, verified customer

Side Effect: Inside-Joke Recovery

“Sent Our Little Things to my favorite weirdo after a tiny overthinking spiral. It broke the tension instantly and brought us right back to our shared language and private jokes.”

— Favorite Weirdo, verified customer

Offensively Accurate

“Surprised him with Stole Your Fries since he's a certified dinner-plate robber. We laughed way too hard about how loudly the side effects called our relationship out.”

— Snack Bandit, verified customer

Not-A-Pharmacy Questions

Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.” Take Two & Text Me gift bottles beside a framed sign reading “Questions. Welcome. Judgment. Optional.”

No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.

Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.

Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options curated to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.

Severe hoodie thieves, couples looking for cute couples gifts, certified sweethearts, codependent weirdos, and anyone hunting for unique funny romantic gifts for their favorite person

Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.

Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section

About Take Two & Text Me™

Take Two & Text Me™ creates prescription-inspired gifts for the moments, problems, and personality quirks we lovingly refuse to fix.

Love Symptoms™ is formulated for inside jokes, shameless flirting, everyday devotion, and all the little things that make your person your person. Prescription-inspired gifts for romantic side effects worth keeping.

  • Take Two & Text Me smiley face icon
    Instant Mood Boost

    Humor, Sweet relief, Zero serious energy

  • Take Two & Text Me gift bag icon
    Gift-Ready

    Because laughter is basically the perfect present


  • Take Two & Text Me sparkle icon
    Prescribed for Real Life

    Made for overthinkers, multitaskers, and the chronically overwhelmed

  • Take Two & Text Me pill icon
    Sweet Dose. Big Impact

    A daily reminder that humor helps in life