• Do Not Disturb Mode
  • Do Not Disturb Mode
🚨 Adulting Triage™

Do Not Disturb Mode

$23.95
$23.95
Script Discount Doses Depleted

SELECT YOUR ACTIVE INGREDIENT

Dose: Silence Bubble Dose (Gumballs Mini Double Bubble)
Dose:

🇺🇸 Ships to US Addresses Only 🚚

Script Information

Do Not Disturb Mode™ is for the person who has reached full emotional voicemail and will not be accepting additional notifications at this time.

Made for group chats, existential texts, inbox pressure, fake urgency, and the sacred peace of pretending your phone is dead.

Prescribed by Dr. Notifications Off for Off the Grid. Dosage: Take when the world won’t stop buzzing. Refills: Only if you need peace. Expires: If someone says “urgent.” Directions: Use before doomscrolling, texting an ex, or spiraling over comments you swore you wouldn’t read again.

Perfect for funny self-care gifts, social battery gifts, adulting gifts, introvert gifts, and anyone who needs permission to log off.

May trigger blissful unreachability. Side effects include full phone silence and joy.

Net Weight: 4.5 oz candy fill.
Do Not Disturb Mode
Do Not Disturb Mode
$23.95
$23.95
Lifestyle flatlay featuring funny adulting gift notepad and coffee for mental overload survival kit by Take Two & Text Me Lifestyle flatlay featuring funny adulting gift notepad and coffee for mental overload survival kit by Take Two & Text Me

Adulting Triage Gift Formula

Symptoms:

Overwhelmed

Barely holding it together

Intended For:

Besties

Coworkers

Anyone doing life under protest

Use When:

Bills hit

Plans pile up

Adulthood gets disrespectful

Temporary Relief:

Turns everyday chaos into something worth laughing about

Made for tiny breakdowns, big laughs, and functioning anyway

Adulting Reactions

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Too Real, Unfortunately

“Bought this for my sister because she opens one bill and immediately needs emotional support.”

— Amanda R., verified customer

Coworker Approved

“Gave it to my work friend after a week of meetings, deadlines, and pretending we were fine.”

— Jess M., verified customer

Adult Kid Energy

“My daughter laughed because it was basically her entire personality in a bottle.”

— Karen T., verified customer

Instant Laugh

“Sent it to my best friend and she said, ‘This is rude, accurate, and I love it.’”

— Nicole B., verified customer

Adulting Triage Waiting Room Picks

Bills Bills Bills funny adulting gift prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me Bills Bills Bills funny adulting gift prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me

Bills. Bills. Bills.

$23.95
$23.95
Do Not Disturb Mode Do Not Disturb Mode

Do Not Disturb Mode

$23.95
$23.95
Caffeine and Consequences Espresso Yourself funny survival kit prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me Caffeine and Consequences Espresso Yourself funny survival kit prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me

Espresso Yourself

$23.95
$23.95
I Can't Afford This adulting is hard gift prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me I Can't Afford This adulting is hard gift prescription bottle by Take Two & Text Me

I Can't Afford This

$23.95
$23.95
The kind of gift made for the chronically overwhelmed

For Disrespectful Adulthood

Adulting Triage™ is formulated for bills, burnout, and low mental bandwidth. It turns everyday chaos into a tiny breakdown you can both actually laugh at.

Not-A-Pharmacy Questions

FAQ product graphic for Adulting Triage funny emotional support gifts and candy prescription bottles by Take Two & Text Me FAQ product graphic for Adulting Triage funny emotional support gifts and candy prescription bottles by Take Two & Text Me

No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.

Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.

Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options curated to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.

Burned-out coworkers, overwhelmed friends, adult kids, tired parents, errand avoiders, low-battery humans, and anyone treating one more task like a personal attack.

Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.

Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section

About Take Two & Text Me™

Take Two & Text Me™ creates prescription-inspired gifts for the moments, problems, and personality quirks we lovingly refuse to fix.

Adulting Triage™ is our collection for bills, burnout, low battery, ignored tasks, caffeine logic, and the everyday chaos that makes functioning feel like a full-time performance.

  • Take Two & Text Me smiley face icon
    Instant Mood Boost

    Humor, Sweet relief, Zero serious energy

  • Take Two & Text Me gift bag icon
    Gift-Ready

    Because laughter is basically the perfect present


  • Take Two & Text Me sparkle icon
    Prescribed for Real Life

    Made for overthinkers, multitaskers, and the chronically overwhelmed

  • Take Two & Text Me pill icon
    Sweet Dose. Big Impact

    A daily reminder that humor helps in life