• Ctrl + Alt + Leave
  • Ctrl + Alt + Leave
💻 Office Clinic™

Ctrl + Alt + Leave

$23.95
$23.95
Script Discount Doses Depleted

SELECT YOUR ACTIVE INGREDIENT

Dose: Shutdown Cinnamon (Jawbreaker Cinnamon)

🇺🇸 Ships to US Addresses Only 🚚

Script Information

Ctrl + Alt + Leave™ is an Office Clinic™ gift for the employee whose mental checkout happened long before the actual resignation.

Made for overloaded calendars, fake emergencies, quitting fantasies, suspiciously long bathroom breaks, and the exact moment one more task starts to feel personally offensive.

Prescribed By: Dr. Exit Strategy
Patient: Barely Clocked In
Dosage: Take when one more task feels personally offensive.
Refills: With every “quick favor”
Expires: When the resignation is sent
Directions: Use during quitting fantasies and suspiciously long bathroom breaks.

Perfect for funny coworker gifts, office burnout gifts, resignation humor, workplace gag gifts, and anyone whose capacity has officially exceeded the job description.

May trigger sudden exits. Side effects include résumé updates, muted notifications, and reduced workplace availability.

Net Weight: 4.5 oz candy fill.
Ctrl + Alt + Leave
Ctrl + Alt + Leave
$23.95
$23.95

Office Clinic Gift Formula

Symptoms:

Meeting fatigue

Professional tone erosion

Intended For:

Work besties

Desk dwellers

Anyone holding back a spicy reply

Use When:

Slack pings

Inboxes explode

Meetings could’ve been emails

Temporary Relief:

Turns corporate survival into something worth laughing about

Made for deep sighs, muted eye rolls, and typing "per my last email"

Desk Drawer Secret Stash

Mute Button Meds Mute Button Meds

Mute Button Meds

$23.95
$23.95
Per My Last Nerve Per My Last Nerve

Per My Last Nerve

$23.95
$23.95
Business On Top Business On Top

Business On Top

$23.95
$23.95
Monday Mood Stabilizers Monday Mood Stabilizers

Monday Mood Stabilizers

$23.95
$23.95

Overheard at the Water Cooler

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer

Passive-Aggressive Poetry

“Sent 'Per My Last Nerve' to my work bestie after our manager scheduled an 'urgent alignment' at 4:55 PM on a Friday. We survived.”

— Alex G., verified customer

Saved My Job

“Kept me from unmuting mid-sigh during a two-hour slide presentation that literally could have been a single bullet-point Slack message.”

— Chelsea M., verified customer

The WFH Uniform

“Gave 'Bottomless Zoomers' to my husband who hasn't worn hard pants to a video call since 2020. Brutally accurate and delicious.”

— Brandon T., verified customer

Better Than Pizza

“The ultimate desk drawer stash. My entire team hoards these now. This is infinitely better than another mandatory corporate pizza party.”

— Emily R., verified customer
The kind of gift made for the chronically overworked

For Everyday Corporate Chaos

The Office Clinic™ is formulated for inbox dread, endless syncs, and meeting fatigue. It turns everyday corporate misery into something you can actually laugh at.

Not-A-Pharmacy Questions

No, this is a parody gift and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Need professional help? Call or text 988 for 24/7 mental health crisis support.

Each product is built around a prescription-inspired parody label made for a specific mood, theme, or “symptom.” The candy dose finishes the gift with 4.5 oz of something sweet, spicy, sour, or seasonally selected to match the moment.

Yes. Each product includes three 4.5 oz candy dose options curated to match the product’s mood, theme, and “symptom.” Candy options may change seasonally or based on availability.

Desk-bound survivors, burnt-out work besties, passive-aggressive email drafters, corporate ladder skeptics, and anyone who treats a 4:55 PM meeting as a personal attack.

Yes. Take Two & Text Me™ is made for easy gifting, whether you are sending support, sarcasm, celebration, or a tiny emotional intervention.

Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section Take Two & Text Me brand logo text bubble icon for product page about section

About Take Two & Text Me™

Take Two & Text Me™ creates prescription-inspired gifts for the moments, problems, and personality quirks we lovingly refuse to fix.

Office Clinic™ is our collection for inbox dread, endless syncs, muted eye rolls, coffee dependency, and the everyday corporate chaos that makes 9-to-5 survival a competitive sport.

  • Take Two & Text Me smiley face icon
    Instant Mood Boost

    Humor, Sweet relief, Zero serious energy

  • Take Two & Text Me gift bag icon
    Gift-Ready

    Because laughter is basically the perfect present


  • Take Two & Text Me sparkle icon
    Prescribed for Real Life

    Made for overthinkers, multitaskers, and the chronically overwhelmed

  • Take Two & Text Me pill icon
    Sweet Dose. Big Impact

    A daily reminder that humor helps in life