{"product_id":"thanksgiving-bottled","title":"Thanksgiving Bottled","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThanksgiving Bottled™\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is for anyone who would rather enjoy Thanksgiving dinner without spending six hours cooking it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade for holiday cooks, endless grocery lists, oven schedules, and the sweet possibility of skipping the dishes entirely.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Dr. Ida Rather Not\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePatient:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e The Holiday Cook\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDosage:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Take two instead of cooking for six hours.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRefills:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Every November\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExpires:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Black Friday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDirections:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Use to skip the grocery list, oven schedule, and the tryptophan nap.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for funny Thanksgiving gifts, Thanksgiving hostess gifts, holiday cooking humor, and anyone who would rather eat candy than cook the turkey.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDoes Not Contain Actual Turkey.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e May disappoint if you were expecting stuffing. Contains candy, but no gravy. Serves one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Turkey Treat (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":52357401673974,"sku":"MD-TGB-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Thankful Bites (Skittles Original)","offer_id":52357401706742,"sku":"MD-TGB-SKT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"No Leftovers (Mike \u0026 Ike Original)","offer_id":52357401739510,"sku":"MD-TGB-MIO","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dinner Substitute (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":52357401772278,"sku":"MD-TGB-SMT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/thanksgiving-bottled-novelty-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1794445345","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/thanksgiving-bottled","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}