{"product_id":"soft-haunting-funny-gift-for-friends","title":"Soft Haunting","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSoft Haunting™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for when they like all your posts but never text your phone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for low-effort likes, strategic lurking, suspiciously consistent views, thirst-trap posting, and the kind of digital attention that keeps showing up without ever becoming an actual conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Bare Minimum\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Digitally Haunted\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when one little like has you frustrated as fuck.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e With every low-effort signal\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When the likes stop carrying weight\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use while reminding yourself that a like costs zero effort and means even less.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA funny gift for friends being digitally haunted by someone who likes every post, watches from the sidelines, and somehow still cannot manage to send an actual text.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBare Minimum Attention Hazard.\u003c\/strong\u003e May cause false hope, strategic thirst-trap posting, and giving free real estate in your head to a ghost.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Bare Minimum Blocker (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51784880390390,"sku":"VS-SH-MJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Like Detox (Claeys Lemon Drops)","offer_id":51784880423158,"sku":"VS-SH-CLD","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ghost Signal (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":51784880455926,"sku":"VS-SH-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ghost Protocol (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862371401974,"sku":"VS-SH-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/soft-haunting-funny-gift-for-friends_00Front.jpg?v=1791132887","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/soft-haunting-funny-gift-for-friends","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}