{"product_id":"scorpio-suppositories-scorpio-gift","title":"Scorpio Suppositories","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScorpio Suppositories™\u003c\/strong\u003e is a prescription-strength, humor-inspired gift for the zodiac sign whose whole personality comes with a warning label: trust issues, secret crushes, and revenge spirals.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for silent plotting, secret crushes, deleted threads with saved screenshots, and anyone whose healing journey still has a detective board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed by:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Keep Watching for the \u003cstrong\u003ePlotting in Silence\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take before deleting the thread but screenshotting everything first. \u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e After each rebirth. \u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e After dramatic exits. \u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Do not check their location. Do not cast a spell. Yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for Scorpio gifts, zodiac gifts, astrology gifts, horoscope gifts, and funny gifts for intense friends with receipts.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHumor gift only. Not medicine. May not reduce suspicion.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Revenge Spiral Cinnamon (Jawbreaker Cinnamon)","offer_id":51029284389110,"sku":"ZRX-SCO-JAW","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Secret Crush Heat (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":51029284421878,"sku":"ZRX-SCO-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Trust Issue Sours (Mike And Ike Sour)","offer_id":51029284454646,"sku":"ZRX-SCO-MIS","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/funny-scorpio-gifts-scorpio-suppressants-front.jpg?v=1783012924","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/scorpio-suppositories-scorpio-gift","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}