{"product_id":"lurker-scroll-stopper-funny-gift-for-friends","title":"Lurker Scroll Stopper","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLurker Scroll Stopper™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for late-night lurking, deep page dives, and suddenly realizing you’re 42 weeks deep in photos you had absolutely no business finding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for profile reopening, tagged-photo archaeology, accidental timeline time travel, suspicious zooming, and the kind of scrolling that requires deleting the evidence afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Close The App\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lurker In Denial\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when you're 42 weeks deep on their ex’s tagged pics.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you reopen their profile\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e After therapy or a nap\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Delete the evidence. Log off. Reclaim your sanity. No, you don’t need to zoom in.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA funny gift for friends who turn one innocent profile check into a late-night deep dive through tagged photos, old posts, and several years of internet history.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScroll Risk Is High.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include shame, screenshots, and timeline time travel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Deep Dive Detox (Funny Bones)","offer_id":51784867938550,"sku":"VS-LSS-FB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Profile Pullback (Bananas)","offer_id":51784867971318,"sku":"VS-LSS-BAN","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Scroll Exit (Rainbow Hearts)","offer_id":51784868004086,"sku":"VS-LSS-RH","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Incognito Mode (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862370615542,"sku":"VS-LSS-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/lurker-scroll-stopper-social-media-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791131822","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/lurker-scroll-stopper-funny-gift-for-friends","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}