{"product_id":"hes-just-tall-red-flag-gift","title":"He's Just Tall","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe's Just Tall™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the friend who mistook six feet of height for emotional evolution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for height delusion, vertical bias, bare minimum dating, 6’2 texts, and the painful realization that tall is not a personality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Lower Bar\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e 6' Fantasy\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take before you equate tall with evolved.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e After every “wyd” from 6’2\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you date a short king\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when you realize six feet of height doesn’t equal maturity.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny gifts for friends, red flag humor, delulu humor, situationship humor, and friends lowering the pedestal instead of their standards.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay reduce vertical bias.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include better taste, clear vision, and short king appreciation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Vertical Bias (Assorted Gumballs)","offer_id":50756849729782,"sku":"RFR-HJT-AG","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Height Check (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756849762550,"sku":"RFR-HJT-ST","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Short King Reset (Rainbow Hearts)","offer_id":50756849795318,"sku":"RFR-HJT-RH","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Height Premium (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862382248182,"sku":"RFR-HJT-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/hes-just-tall-red-flag-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791061116","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/hes-just-tall-red-flag-gift","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}