{"product_id":"espresso-yourself","title":"Espresso Yourself","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEspresso Yourself™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the adult who treats espresso like a personality, a coping mechanism, and a questionable life strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for unrealistic to-do lists, fast typing, faster spirals, and the deep belief that one more cup will fix absolutely everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003ePrescribed by \u003cstrong\u003eDr. Cold Brew Chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e for \u003cstrong\u003eOne More Cup\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when adulting needs jet fuel. \u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each time energy runs out. \u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When sleep is optional. \u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use with sarcasm, unrealistic to-do lists, and the belief that this cup will fix everything you’ve ever avoided.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny coworker gifts, caffeine gifts, funny adulting gifts, work burnout gifts, and anyone powered by coffee and poor decisions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMay cause overconfidence and crashes. Side effects include fast typing and faster spirals.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Jet Fuel Dose (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756803723510,"sku":"AT-EY-HTM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One More Cup (Mike And Ike Mega Mix)","offer_id":50756803756278,"sku":"AT-EY-MIKMM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crunchy Crash Prevention (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756803789046,"sku":"AT-EY-SMT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/funny-survival-kit-espresso-front.jpg?v=1782434639","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/espresso-yourself","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}