{"product_id":"dont-call-your-ex","title":"Don't Call Your Ex","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't Call Your Ex™\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers the cold, hard sugar reality that you don’t actually need closure. You need candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for late-night scrolling, nostalgia traps, unblocking urges, and keeping your dignity intact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Block-a-Lot\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lower Standards\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take with wine. Or throw it at your phone.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If they don’t text first\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When sanity kicks in\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hide the phone. Open the bottle. Do not mix with nostalgia.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, newly single gifts, funny dating gifts, and impulse-control survival.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImpulse blocker.\u003c\/strong\u003e May cause temporary sanity and long-term relief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Blocked Button Dose (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756761911542,"sku":"BRX-DCYE-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sour Nostalgia Dose (Mike And Ike Sour)","offer_id":50756761944310,"sku":"BRX-DCYE-MIS","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Impulse Control Tablets (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756761977078,"sku":"BRX-DCYE-SMT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/BreakupRxMockup_02_Front.jpg?v=1788826464","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/dont-call-your-ex","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}