{"product_id":"ctrl-alt-leave","title":"Ctrl + Alt + Leave","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCtrl + Alt + Leave™\u003c\/strong\u003e is an Office Clinic™ gift for the employee whose mental checkout happened long before the actual resignation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for overloaded calendars, fake emergencies, quitting fantasies, suspiciously long bathroom breaks, and the exact moment one more task starts to feel personally offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Exit Strategy\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Barely Clocked In\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when one more task feels personally offensive.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e With every “quick favor”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When the resignation is sent\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use during quitting fantasies and suspiciously long bathroom breaks.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny coworker gifts, office burnout gifts, resignation humor, workplace gag gifts, and anyone whose capacity has officially exceeded the job description.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay trigger sudden exits.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include résumé updates, muted notifications, and reduced workplace availability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Shutdown Cinnamon (Jawbreaker Cinnamon)","offer_id":50756759093494,"sku":"TOC-CAL-JCN","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Exit Strategy (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756759126262,"sku":"TOC-CAL-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hard Reset (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756759159030,"sku":"TOC-CAL-MJB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/OfficeClinicMockup_04_Front.jpg?v=1788897691","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/ctrl-alt-leave","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}