{"product_id":"access-denied-funny-coworker-gift","title":"Access Denied","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAccess Denied™\u003c\/strong\u003e is an Office Clinic™ gift for the employee whose badge has somehow become an access card, identity document, and emotional hostage situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for staff doors that beep at the worst time, scanners that suddenly pretend not to know you, and repeatedly proving that you do, in fact, work there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Access Pending\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rage Pending\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take one per hopeful beep.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Until the light turns green\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When someone takes pity and lets you in\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use before rage-tapping your badge against the scanner like the fifth try will work.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny coworker gifts, office gag gifts, employee appreciation gifts, workplace humor gifts, and anyone regularly betrayed by their access badge.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay cause badge rage.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include re-swiping, fake confidence, and lobby shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Swipe Again (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756758864118,"sku":"TOC-BSB-MJB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"System Error (Mike And Ike Sour)","offer_id":50756758896886,"sku":"TOC-BSB-MIS","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Access Denied (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756758929654,"sku":"TOC-BSB-SMT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/OfficeClinicMockup_01_Front.jpg?v=1788896968","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/products\/access-denied-funny-coworker-gift","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}