{"title":"💔 Breakup Rx™","description":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause getting over them requires an emotional prescription-strength intervention.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eBreakup Rx™ is a prescription-inspired collection for breakup spirals, text-your-ex emergencies, mixed-signal hangovers, newly single chaos, and friends who need help surviving the emotional aftershock. These funny breakup gifts are made for getting over them one coping mechanism at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTake two and block their number.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"dont-call-your-ex-funny-breakup-gift","title":"Don't Call Your Ex","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't Call Your Ex™\u003c\/strong\u003e delivers the cold, hard sugar reality that you don’t actually need closure. You need candy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for late-night scrolling, nostalgia traps, unblocking urges, and keeping your dignity intact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Block-a-Lot\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lower Standards\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take with wine. Or throw it at your phone.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If they don’t text first\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When sanity kicks in\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hide the phone. Open the bottle. Do not mix with nostalgia.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, newly single gifts, funny dating gifts, and impulse-control survival.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImpulse blocker.\u003c\/strong\u003e May cause temporary sanity and long-term relief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Block Button Backup (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756761977078,"sku":"BRX-DCE-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Impulse Control (Claeys Lemon Drops)","offer_id":51862183149814,"sku":"BRX-DCE-LEM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Do Not Dial Relief (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51781997789430,"sku":"BRX-DCE-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"No Contact Crunch (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183182582,"sku":"BRX-DCE-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/dont-call-your-ex-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791031590"},{"product_id":"exorcism-bites-funny-breakup-gift","title":"Exorcism Bites","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eExorcism Bites™\u003c\/strong\u003e brings a sweet spiritual cleanse to those intense moments when simply deleting their number does not feel like enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for receipt-burning sessions, contact-deleting, space-purging, and evicting their memory from your current timeline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Goodbye\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Past-Possessed\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when deleting them isn’t enough.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e When old demons return\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When the vibes improve\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take after burning the receipts, blocking their number, and restaging your room.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, energy cleanse gifts, situationship survival, moving-on gifts, and friends removing an ex from their emotional space.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot clergy-approved.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include released demons, deleted playlists, and less false hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Demon Eviction Dose (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756762009846,"sku":"BRX-EB-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Demon Repellent (Cinnamon Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51862183248118,"sku":"BRX-EB-CJB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spirit Reset Tabs (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756762075382,"sku":"BRX-EB-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bad Spirit Bites (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183280886,"sku":"BRX-EB-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/exorcism-bites-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791031997"},{"product_id":"end-scene-edibles-funny-breakup-gift","title":"End Scene Edibles","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEnd Scene Edibles™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the person who knows better, swears they are healing, and still somehow ends up emotionally circling the scene of the crime.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for breakup spirals, blocked-number bravery, group chat interventions, and anyone trying to choose peace while nostalgia acts like a full-time job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Mic Drop\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dramatic but Done\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e One per dramatic finale.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Available in group chat\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e Once the curtain drops\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take after the final straw but before you say something you can’t unsend.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, situationship gifts, newly single gifts, and anyone recovering from modern dating chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo not revive the storyline.\u003c\/strong\u003e May trigger strutting, blocking, and bold new beginnings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Final Curtain Dose (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756762108150,"sku":"BRX-ESE-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Credits Roll (Assorted Gumballs)","offer_id":51862183379190,"sku":"BRX-ESE-GUM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mic Drop Medicine (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756762173686,"sku":"BRX-ESE-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Happy Ending (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183411958,"sku":"BRX-ESE-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/end-scene-edibles-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791031906"},{"product_id":"healing-blocked-breakup-gift-for-overthinkers","title":"Healing? Blocked","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHealing? Blocked™\u003c\/strong\u003e is the hilariously honest remedy for the friend who blocks them to catch their breath, then unblocks them forty minutes later to check their profile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for green-dot obsession, view-list monitoring, screenshot loops, and trying to heal when curiosity refuses to cooperate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Ghost Block\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Trying to Move On\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take before you see them on someone else’s story.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If they text “u up?”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When healing restarts\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when you block them to breathe, then unblock to check.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for social media anxiety gifts, funny breakup gifts, group chat debriefs, and overthinking recovery.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay delay recovery.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include replays, resets, and rage-tapping mute.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Block Then Breathe (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756762206454,"sku":"BRX-HB-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"No Peeking (Claeys Lemon Drops)","offer_id":51862183510262,"sku":"BRX-HB-LEM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mute Button Maintenance (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756762271990,"sku":"BRX-HB-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blocked \u0026 Blessed (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183543030,"sku":"BRX-HB-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/healing-blocked-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032109"},{"product_id":"hope-hangover-funny-breakup-gift","title":"Hope Hangover","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHope Hangover™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the friend who swore they were different, only to realize their actions don’t match the fantasy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for romantic spirals, playlist deletion, shower crying, and the exhausting process of unfollowing their dog’s account.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Cold Reality\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Tender but Tired\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when actions don’t match the fantasy.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e After each false promise\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When clarity returns\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take after romantic spirals where you convinced yourself they were “different.”\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, situationship recovery, reality checks, and best friend care packages.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay hurt before healing.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include playlist deletion, shower crying, and unfollowing their dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Reality Bites (Cinnamon Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51862183674102,"sku":"BRX-HH-CJB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"False Promise Relief (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756762337526,"sku":"BRX-HH-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fantasy Detox (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":50756762370294,"sku":"BRX-HH-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hope Detox (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183706870,"sku":"BRX-HH-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/hope-hangover-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032221"},{"product_id":"rebound-refresher-funny-single-gift","title":"Rebound Refresher","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRebound Refresher™\u003c\/strong\u003e won’t judge your rebound. It cheers you on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for post-spiral confidence boosts, hot-mess moments, low expectations, and excellent lighting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Distraction\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hot Mess Express\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take as a temporary confidence boost post-spiral.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Until their name fades\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When real feelings appear\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Best taken with low expectations, highlighter, and tequila. Or just good lighting.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny single gifts, rebound support, girls’ night gifts, breakup recovery, and temporary-delusion defense.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot a long-term fix.\u003c\/strong\u003e May cause temporary delusion, accidental screenshots, and glow-ups.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Distraction Dose (Mike \u0026 Ike Original)","offer_id":50756762403062,"sku":"BRX-RR-MIO","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hot Mess Boost (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756762435830,"sku":"BRX-RR-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Low Expectations Relief (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":50756762468598,"sku":"BRX-RR-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Start (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183772406,"sku":"BRX-RR-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/rebound-refresher-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032892"},{"product_id":"text-your-ex-tabs-funny-breakup-gift","title":"Text Your Ex Tabs","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eText Your Ex Tabs™\u003c\/strong\u003e is the ultimate impulse buffer because bad romantic decisions still technically count as cardio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for questionable late-night typing, nostalgia traps, weak-moment group chat alerts, and “I miss us” text panics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Phone Down\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Closure Pending\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take before typing “I miss you.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you left them on read\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e After one “I miss us” text\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when nostalgia makes you horny and delusional.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, impulse blockers, single-friend gag gifts, and group chat emergencies.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmotions may resurface.\u003c\/strong\u003e May unlock old nudes, worse habits, and lingering hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Phone Down Dose (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756762501366,"sku":"BRX-TYE-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Delete Draft (Assorted Gumballs)","offer_id":51862183903478,"sku":"BRX-TYE-GUM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bad Decision Buffer (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756762566902,"sku":"BRX-TYE-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unread Energy (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862183936246,"sku":"BRX-TYE-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/text-your-ex-tabs-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791033017"},{"product_id":"withdrawal-symptoms-heartfelt-breakup-gift","title":"Withdrawal Symptoms","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWithdrawal Symptoms™\u003c\/strong\u003e brings sweet, sugar-coated clarity for those heavy days when their absence still feels like a constant presence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for meme-triggered spirals, haunted dreams, profile-scrolling urges, and mourning the illusion of what could have been.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Still Spiralin’\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Haunted \u0026amp; Healing\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when their name appears in a meme or a dream.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sadly, emotional only\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When peace gets louder\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Don’t chase closure. Don’t scroll their page. Mourn the illusion. Move forward anyway.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for heartfelt breakup gifts, healing care packages, overthinking recovery, and emotional support.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGhost reactivation risk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include haunting clarity and random memory attacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Ghost Recovery Dose (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756762599670,"sku":"BRX-WS-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Craving Control (Claeys Lemon Drops)","offer_id":51862184100086,"sku":"BRX-WS-LEM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Peace Gets Louder (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":50756762665206,"sku":"BRX-WS-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ex-Free Fix (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184132854,"sku":"BRX-WS-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/withdrawal-symptoms-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791033134"},{"product_id":"post-breakup-rebrand-breakup-recovery-gift","title":"Post-Breakup Rebrand","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePost-Breakup Rebrand™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for becoming hotter, happier, and suspiciously more powerful out of spite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for post-breakup transitions, spontaneous haircuts, cryptic thirst traps, and going to therapy all in the same week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Glow Up\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hotter Than Before\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take before your haircut, thirst trap, or therapy session.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e For revenge and radiance\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you forget their name\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Romanticize your recovery. Reinvent with style. Post without warning.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for breakup recovery gifts, glowing up out of spite, and friends launching a new single era.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGlow-up may go viral.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include compliments, thirst DMs, and zero fucking regrets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Glow-Up Fuel (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":50756786061558,"sku":"BRX-PBR-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rebrand Recovery (Mike \u0026 Ike Original)","offer_id":50756786094326,"sku":"BRX-PBR-MIO","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Revenge Radiance (Rainbow Hearts)","offer_id":50756786127094,"sku":"BRX-PBR-RHE","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Glow-Up Crunch (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184296694,"sku":"BRX-PBR-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/post-breakup-rebrand-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032792"},{"product_id":"emotional-cleanse-breakup-recovery-gift","title":"Emotional Cleanse","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmotional Cleanse™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for clearing out the emotional clutter after a breakup leaves the vibes completely rancid.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for sad playlists, emotional buildup, energy resets, rereading old texts, and finally cleansing your life, your camera roll, and your standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Sage Smudge\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Emotionally Full\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take with a sad playlist.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e When your aura feels off\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e Once the mood shifts\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Best taken alone, with headphones, candles, and honesty.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for breakup recovery gifts, moving-on gifts, emotional reset gifts, self-care humor, and friends cleansing an ex from their emotional system.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay induce emotional detox.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include rereading old texts and moving on anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Aura Reset Dose (Flower Garden Mix)","offer_id":50756821516534,"sku":"BRX-EC-FGM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Baggage Disposal (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51862184394998,"sku":"BRX-EC-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Clean Slate Capsules (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756821582070,"sku":"BRX-EC-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Emotional Reset (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184427766,"sku":"BRX-EC-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/emotional-cleanse-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791031788"},{"product_id":"closure-capsules-funny-breakup-gift","title":"Closure Capsules","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClosure Capsules™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the friend still waiting for answers from someone who barely deserved a question.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for message loops, typing panics, unreturned items, and learning that “no response” is actually a full sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Say Less\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Still Waiting\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e One per reread of the last text.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you start typing again\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e After inner peace\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use when you crave answers but know you’ll only get disappointment.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, situationship gifts, breakup care packages, and group chat interventions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay eliminate false hope.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include quiet clarity and unfinished sentences.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Final Answer Energy (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":50756848812278,"sku":"BRX-CC-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"No Reply Required (Mini Jawbreakers)","offer_id":50756848845046,"sku":"BRX-CC-MJA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Closure Is Sweet (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":50756848877814,"sku":"BRX-CC-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Case Closed (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184526070,"sku":"BRX-CC-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/closure-capsules-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791031483"},{"product_id":"hot-girl-hurt-breakup-gift-for-her","title":"Hot Girl Hurt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHot Girl Hurt™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the comeback era where the lashes are on, the outfit is lethal, and the feelings are unfortunately still invited.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for heartbreak spirals, revenge outfits, secret tears, glow-up plotting, and looking completely fine while your group chat knows otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Cry Pretty\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Still That B*tch\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take when your eyeliner is sharp but your heart cracks again.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e When your mascara runs\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you block them\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pairs well with scream therapy, banger selfies, and your group chat hype squad.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, glow-up gifts, newly single gifts, and friends entering their comeback era.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHealing isn’t linear.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include revenge outfits, secret tears, and glow-up plotting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Cry Pretty Dose (Rainbow Hearts)","offer_id":51782002999542,"sku":"BRX-HGH-RHE","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Revenge Outfit Fuel (Hot Tamales)","offer_id":51782003032310,"sku":"BRX-HGH-HOT","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Comeback Era Chews (Mike \u0026 Ike Original)","offer_id":51782003065078,"sku":"BRX-HGH-MIO","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pretty Revenge (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184591606,"sku":"BRX-HGH-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/hot-girl-hurt-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032419"},{"product_id":"main-character-me-breakup-care-package-gift","title":"Main Character Me","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMain Character Me™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the full rom-com breakdown arc where everything is falling apart, the playlist is devastating, and somehow the eyeliner is still hanging on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for hallway sobs, rainy-window staring, dramatic playlist spirals, emotional plot twists, and the deeply necessary belief that this is only Season 1.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Reignite\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Burnt Out Babe\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take during hallway sobs, rainy stares, or playlist spirals.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e Until Season 2\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e After a good cry and glow-up\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Use when everything’s falling apart but the eyeliner’s still on.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, post-breakup spirals, dramatic best friend gifts, and anyone deep in their main-character recovery arc.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMay cause emotional climax.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include ugly crying, full catharsis, and better playlists.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Season Finale Dose (Rainbow Hearts)","offer_id":51782004179190,"sku":"BRX-MCM-RHE","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Lead Role Energy (Assorted Gumballs)","offer_id":51862184820982,"sku":"BRX-MCM-GUM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Main Character Tabs (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":51782004244726,"sku":"BRX-MCM-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spotlight Snack (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184853750,"sku":"BRX-MCM-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/main-character-me-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032538"},{"product_id":"playlist-poisoner-funny-breakup-gift-music-lovers","title":"Playlist Poisoner","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlaylist Poisoner™\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the songs that were perfectly harmless until one lyric dragged you straight back into the emotional crime scene.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eMade for trigger tracks, shower sobbing, car karaoke regret, playlist purges, and realizing some songs simply cannot come with you into the healing era.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrescribed By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dr. Skip Track\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePatient:\u003c\/strong\u003e Triggered by Music\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDosage:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take after one emotional lyric sends you down a wormhole.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRefills:\u003c\/strong\u003e With every triggering track\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eExpires:\u003c\/strong\u003e When you can skip without tears\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDirections:\u003c\/strong\u003e Change the station. Burn the playlist. Heal in silence or scream-singing.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for funny breakup gifts, breakup care packages, music-lover gifts, post-breakup spirals, and friends whose playlists have become emotional hazards.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvoid mood traps.\u003c\/strong\u003e Side effects include skipping bangers, shower sobbing, and car karaoke regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 4.5 oz candy fill.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","offers":[{"title":"Skip Track Relief (Smarties Tablets)","offer_id":51782004998390,"sku":"BRX-PP-SMA","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Skip The Sad (Cinnamon Jawbreakers)","offer_id":51862184952054,"sku":"BRX-PP-CJB","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Playlist Purge Dose (Teenee Beanee Jelly Beans)","offer_id":51782005063926,"sku":"BRX-PP-TBJ","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Next Track (Milk Chocolate M\u0026M's)","offer_id":51862184984822,"sku":"BRX-PP-MNM","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/playlist-poisoner-funny-breakup-gift_00Front.jpg?v=1791032696"},{"product_id":"take-two-text-me-gift-card","title":"Emergency Gift Card (Digital E-Gift)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlready owns everything. Has opinions about everything. Says “I don’t need anything.” Does not mean it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe’ve prescribed options.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Take Two \u0026amp; Text Me™ Gift Card lets them choose a script for their very specific situation. You get credit for the gift. They take full responsibility for their selection.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePLEASE READ\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDelivered by email, not by mail. The gift-card email includes a unique code to use at checkout.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBuying for someone else? Select \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“I want to send this as a gift”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and enter their recipient details. Otherwise, the gift card is emailed to you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGift-card emails are sent after the order is fulfilled. No physical card or candy bottle is included. Physical products purchased with the gift card ship to US addresses only.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGift cards never expire and carry no additional fees. Redeemable at taketwoandtextme.com. Not redeemable for cash except where required by law.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDiscount codes and promotional offers cannot be applied to gift card purchases.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me™","offers":[{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":52019541311734,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":52019541344502,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"75.00","offer_id":52019699253494,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100.00","offer_id":52019541377270,"sku":null,"price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/files\/take-two-text-me-gift-card-product.png?v=1792696971"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/8897\/9958\/collections\/take-two-text-me-breakup-rx-collection-tile.jpg?v=1785266820","url":"https:\/\/taketwoandtextme.com\/collections\/breakup-rx.oembed?page=2","provider":"Take Two \u0026 Text Me","version":"1.0","type":"link"}